


This Is Me

by SimplyWolves98, Sp00kyunit



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aurora is Yellow Pearl, Ballet, Character Development, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Greatest Showman AU, Greg owns the circus, Heterochromia, Homophobia, Physical Abuse, Racism, Rose is dead, Sexism, Sky is Blue Pearl, World's strongest woman, circus clown, kevin is a piece of shit, knife tricks, lion training, no lions were harmed in the making of this fic, sapphire and ruby don't exist, stage work, water acts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2019-01-25
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16082840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyWolves98/pseuds/SimplyWolves98, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sp00kyunit/pseuds/Sp00kyunit
Summary: Garnet is in the circus as world's strongest woman and Pearl is someone who needed a better world outside the one of ballet and expectations. Garnet is black in a world or racism and Pearl is learning to love herself and grow to be something better in her mother's memory.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to a fic that me a Sp00ky really wanted to see written, and took upon ourselves to write lol.  
> We love both Greatest Showman and Steven Universe, and thought about how great a mash-up between the two would be.   
> Pre-warning, these chapters may be slow coming just because of work and school schedules, so please bear with us in that aspect <3  
> Also, for those of you who are reading my story ITHOTWH, updates will still be coming, just still slow, again, because of work and school, so, again, thank you for sticking around lol

A quick slap against her right cheek flung Garnet’s head to the left and slightly skewed the dark glasses that rested in her nose. Nothing was said, but laughter rose from around them. Garnet knew what she did wrong and quickly straightened her shoulders and subtly wiggled her nose until the glasses sat straight once more.

This crowd was more difficult than the last few, they threw things during her act, called out mocking names, and went about touching her exposed skin and giggling while she was unable to do a thing.

Her arms trembled as she was, yet again, shouted at to raise the next set of children one arm after the other. These were young boys on the peak of manhood and girls who thought sitting two-to-three an arm was a good idea. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but seeing as this was the fifth show in a row with no break, ensured that Garnet was exhausted by the final act once again.

She didn’t plan for it to happen. She didn’t plan on one of the girls to yank on strands of her hair, entranced by its curls. She didn’t plan on the boy, in an effort to seem cooler to his friends, to pluck her glasses from her face. She didn’t plan on letting those bodies fall heavily to the ground as the bright lights stabbed at her eyes, piercing through her head.

The tent filled with screams and angry voices, hammering on her already pounding headache, but Garnet was too busy scrambling with her left hand, looking for the lost glasses, as her right gripped her temples trying to keep as much light out as she could.

“Her eyes!!” Onlookers said with whispered voices, “A devil child!” Others said with venom dripping in their voices. She wanted to run. She wanted to run away from all of this mess. With hunched shoulders her large stature seemed to shrink further into the ground. She knew couldn’t run. Not again.

 

___

 

 _She was done. It was over_.

Garnet watched stoically as Circus Master Kevin tried to calm down the parents of the children that she had dropped. His shoulders were stiff and his smile was strained but he was able to placate them with the promise of free tickets and special treatment at future visits. He gave a jaunty wave as the final person left his tent before walking over to his desk in a too calm manner.

Garnet kept herself still as he wandered back and forth through his room, her hands gripping the golden bangles of her costume, the fake metal bending easily under the stress.

“Do you know how much money you lost me today?” Garnet knew better than to answer. He continued to circle the room, lighting each lamp as he passed them, to the point where the inside of his tent lit up like midday, before finally moving to stand in front of Garnet. He looked up at her, surveying her face, and lightly gestured for her to lean forward.

“I never understood why you wore these clunky things, they can just get so dirty during your act.” Garnet’s fingers trembled as he reached forward and gently removed her glasses, forcing her forehead to furrow and her eyes to squint as the lights, for the second time that day, stabbed at her brain. Kevin proceeded to use a fine cloth to “clean” her glasses, the plastic bending and straining until, finally, snapping in half.

“Oh no,” the pieces hung mockingly from his fingers, just before dropping onto the ground and he grabbed hold of Garnet’s face with rough hands, “well, now you can show off your pretty eyes to everyone around you. Isn’t that great?” Garnet’s form was vibrating while she tried to keep herself in check, tears pricked in eyes, trying to lessen the blow of the lights.

With a flick of his wrist, Garnet’s face was throw away and he turned to walk away, not caring as he stepped on, and shattered the glass of, Garnet’s already broken glasses.

“Get out and help clean so we can leave by morning. Don’t bother with dinner tonight.” Without a word, Garnet was quick to turn on her heel and leave the blinding tent, the crushed pieces of her bracelets meeting her glasses on the dusty ground. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again readers!  
> I know we said that these chapters would be kinda far in between, but y'all got lucky cause we already had this one half written when we finished chapter one lol.  
> Just a heads up, chapters are going to be alternating POV between Garnet and Pearl sooo, yea......have fun with this itty bitty cliffhanger, courtesy of Sp00ks.  
> Enjoy Chapter 2, and we hope to see you again soon.

Pearl’s legs trembled as she stood on pointe for a few more seconds before Opal let her finally rest. 

“Very good Pearl, you’ve grown a lot over the past few weeks.” Pearl just gave a slight nod at the praise as she walked over to her water and proceeded to take long gulps between heaved breathes. With a gasp, she pulled away the now empty bottle and looked in the wall length mirror at her reflection. Her forehead was drenched in sweat, her cheeks flushed red, and her thin limbs trembled slightly as they released from their tensed state. Opal continued to speak, most likely making plans for Pearl’s practices for the next week, but she heard nothing as her eyes focused on the three empty chairs just off of the glossy wooden floor.

Her mother had stopped coming to her practices when Pearl’s abilities as a dancer had increased significantly, thinking that her presence was no longer needed once had hired the instructor that Pearl had idolized during her childhood. 

Pearl missed when she was able to complete a complex set of steps, turn excitedly to her mother, who would have been sitting in one of those chairs, cheering as only a mother could. Pearl remembered being filled with such pride, being able to make her mother proud of her. Being able to look to her mother for strength during hard times, or times of frustration. 

But, Pearl understood why she wasn’t here. Why she stopped coming. Her mother had become sick during the past few practices, the color drained from her cheeks and her eyes dim. She had looked so sad.

Pearl knew her mother loved and supported her, even when she wasn’t here, but it still hurt to be left alone with Opal.

Opal cared too much. Just like Pearl’s mother. 

“Pearl?” Thin shoulders twitched before Pearl quickly placed the empty bottle on the ground and turned back toward her instructor, “yes ma’am, sorry, lost in thought.” Opal cocked her head slightly, her eyebrows creased with concern, before sighing and walking forward to place a hand on Pearl’s shoulder.

“Maybe you should get changed and head home for the day, you’ve done amazing and deserve the break.”  
“Are you sure? State is coming up soon, should I not be putting in more practice?” Opal smiled and gently ran her hand over Pearl’s sweaty curls. It was such a motherly gesture that Pearl had to clench her fists and swallow through a thick throat, intent not to cry. 

“You’ve done amazingly and, I feel, you already have a place held for you in the coming State finals. One thing you should be excited for is the upcoming recital next week, I know you’ve put in a lot of work for it.” Pearl chuckled and nodded, she had been looking forward to the recital for some time, it was going to be a fundraiser for the ballet school and she, Sky, and Aurora were all going to be taking part to help raise funds for the next few months. 

“If you are sure, then. . . then maybe a break would be nice.” Opal nodded once more before lightly pushing Pearl toward the changing rooms, “go on, get out of here before it gets any darker. Be safe Pearl.”

“I will, thank you Opal.”

 

______

 

When Pearl moved out, she made sure that her home would still be close to the dance studio. Still within walking distance due to the fact that she never quite had the funds for a horse and buggy or a taxi everyday. The only downside to walking every night was the stress of those around her.

Pearl’s fingers fidgeted over the knife she kept tucked in her jacket pocket, the worn wooden handle rubbed soft from her fingers. For the entirety of the walk  Pearl’s hand never left her pocket and her eyes never ceased to scan the roads and faces of the people she passed. Her tense shoulders only relaxed once she reached reached her front door and was opening it into her living room. 

She was locking the door her when she heard something shift behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!   
> So, I got a bit carried away with this chapter and it ended up being 5 google doc pages long lol. Whoops.  
> Sp00ks and I hope you you guys all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> !!!!TW!!!!  
> There is a violent attack, a panic attack, and vomit in the second half of this chapter

Garnet had made her way back into her own tent after being pushed and shoved and mocked as she stumbled over her own feet blindly. Her fists were still clenched, nails digging into her palms, knuckles pale from the strain. 

Once she finally threw open the flaps of her tent, she immediatly felt along the wall toward her trunk of personal belongings at the foot of her mat. 

“Where are your glasses?” Garnet jumped violently, banging her knuckles on the side of  the beaten-up trunk. She squinted over her shoulder to the blurry mass of her tent mate. 

“Kevin.” 

Jasper growled under her breath and started messing with the thin fabric of her blanket, “you won’t be finding another pair of glasses in there, you only had two and that little shit from last week stole your first pair.” Remembering how hands had grabbed at her face, tugging on hair and scratching her cheeks, just to run off with the World’s Strongest Woman’s glasses, made Garnet slam a fist against the lid in anger, cracking it right down the middle.

“Here.” Garnet was about to turn back towards Jasper, but her eyes were quickly covered by a dark strip of fabric tied tightly at the back of her head.

“It’s the best we can work with for right now until we get to the next town. But either way, you wouldn’t even be able to see without it.” Garnet sighed as she reached up and brushed her fingertips over her covered eyes, “thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, can't have the World’s Strongest Woman crying on us now can we?” Jasper laughed at her own joke and smacked Garnet against the back before rummaging through Garnet’s things, still chuckling. Garnet shifted uncomfortably, not liking the fact that she couldn’t see at all and was still wearing her act costume.

Garnet was about to push Jasper out of the way, wherever she was, when suddenly a bundle of fabric was thrown and hit her in the face. Garnet fumbled with the mass for a second before figuring out what it was.

“Get changed and rest until it gets dark out, then you can join us.”

“But-”

“You aren’t of any use to us blind, but I’m sure Kevin will be looking for you specifically tonight. I’ll keep everyone busy enough to where they don’t ask questions, until you arrive.” Jasper didn’t even wait for an answer, the low swishing of the tents flaps informing Garnet that she was no longer within hearing range. She sighed heavily and quickly changed out of her costume, throwing it across the tent, before shuffling her feet over to her mat and lying down quickly.

Garnet’s body hummed with leftover adrenaline over what had happened that day. How was she going to continue her act if she didn’t have glasses anymore? Kevin took pride in his lighting of the center stage, “how else will you people see the beauty?” he would exclaim to his crowds to cause laughter to fill the area. He wanted the people to know how great he was, able to get all these “beautiful” beings together in one place, and showing them off for his own benefit.

At least he found her beautiful. 

Garnet’s face scrunched into a grimace at the thought, but her heart still ached at the truthfulness of it. Without Kevin, she would either be homeless, still mocked and ridiculed as she struggled to survive, or dead and forgotten by all. 

She didn’t know what the better option was.

 

_______

 

“Where is she?” Garnet jerked awake and quickly pushed herself off of the ground as a voice shouted near her tent. Without thinking, she yanked the strip of cloth away from her eyes, squinting slightly at the sudden change of lighting, but quickly getting her sight back. Night. 

Garnet scrambled over her feet, throwing open the tent flap, to run directly into Kevin. The man barely reached her chest but there was always a voice in the back of her head that told her to fear whenever he came near. Garnet’s muscles locked as he looked up at her with a smirk curling over his face.

“So,” he meticulously pulled off his white gloves and tucked them into his back pocket, “you think you can go against my direct instruction and take the night off?” It was just like back in his tent, she was frozen. Her body refusing to give Kevin a reason to take any action, but he always seemed to find one, no matter what she did. 

Garnet noticed Jasper standing not too far behind Kevin, her lips strained and hands fisted at her sides, but she didn’t come any closer, she couldn’t.

Garnet hated how much this man had given all of them because he took just as much away, just not in the material sense. He took away their dignity, their personal strength, and any sense of love they held for themself before coming under his control. Many no longer hated him, he gave them a home, food, protection, but they didn’t love him either. They tolerated and played his game because that’s what kept them safe.

Garnet was jerked out of her head when Kevin’s hand curled into the front of her shirt and roughly began yanking her behind him.

“Move.” Garnet watched numbly as Jasper stiffly shuffled over a few steps, her eyes still facing forward, and then she was gone. Kevin dragged her behind him, all of the dull tents and figures blending together until Garnet didn’t know where she stood anymore. The hand still gripping her shirt didn’t loosen until they were back inside of the main tent and she was roughly thrown to the ground, the heels of her palms scraping over the dirt covered concrete.

Garnet breathed heavily for a few seconds, she could feel her fingers trembling against the ground so she quickly fisted her hands before Kevin could see.

“Have you figured out an answer to my question?” The body on the ground kept her head lowered and shoulders hunched near her ears. She refused to move and give him a reason to say that she attacked first.

“Still nothing? My, aren’t you just a tough nut to crack.” Kevin’s voice was slime over her ears and she shuttered through the blood that was rushing from her head leaving her dizzy and nauseous. Her thoughts were too loud, ringing around in her head, but she couldn’t make anything out. There was just too much noise.

Garnet didn’t realize it at first, the three figures that joined Kevin in standing over her, she was too lost trying not to lose the contents of her stomach onto Kevin’s shoes and keep her heaving breaths to herself. She didn’t hear their whispers and mocking laughter until the first foot slammed into her ribs and fist connected with her shoulder knocking her fully onto the ground. 

A hitching gasp escaped her lips with the force of the hits and her teeth clattered together loudly in her head as her jaw hit the ground. Someone was standing on her back, over her chest, on top of her lungs. She couldn’t breathe.

_ Help me. _

She couldn’t see anyone, her face buried in the ground, but she heard their laughter as more punches and kicks and elbows and knees fell onto her. She wanted to cry out but that person was still on her back, she couldn’t get a breath in deep enough to even whimper.

Garnet’s breathes were getting shallower and shallower and her vision was going dark when someone suddenly grabbed the back of her head, yanking it upward and immediately Garnet shouted out in pain. The main tent’s flood lights had been activated and it bare bulb was facing right at her face.

Garnet tried to pull away, her vision now completely covered in pulsating black orbs, she needed to get away but in that moment her strength left her and she was at the whim of the hand that kept her aloft.

“Look at her, she’s crying.” A voice scoffed to her left and without thinking her hand shot out and gripped an ankle, grasping desperately at the loose fabric of their pants. With a shout of disgust, the leg was yanked away and her hand was quickly stomped on causing Garnet to cry out and more tears to leak from her eyes.

Garnet was scared. Her body shuttered and and her breathes were punched out of her mouth in short gasps. They just wouldn’t stop hitting her, and they laughed. They were enjoying her pain. It made them feel strong. Suddenly a fist smashed into the back of her head and she felt strands of hair get yanked out as her forehead connected to the ground.

“Stop.” She knew that was Kevin as the assault stopped but the laughter continued. Garnet pushed herself up, only enough to get her head off of the ground and she looked at the looming shadow of Kevin as he stood in front of the light.

“This won’t stop until you tell me what I want to hear, you know that. This is your fault. I need to hear from you that you know that, then we can forget that this ever happened.” Bile burned at the back of Garnet’s throat, she knew she had to say something but if she opened her mouth something other than words would be greeting the man.

“Garnet,” rough fingers grasped at her cheeks and strained her neck to make her look further up, “tell me what I want to hear.” Her lips trembled and her stomach rolled and her head throbbed and her body shook. She couldn’t do it. Nails dug into her cheeks.

“Now!”

_ Let me out. Let me out. Let me out! _

“Hello?” Kevin’s hand suddenly released her face and she dropped unceremoniously back to the ground. The tall woman kept her head down, heaving into the dirt, tears creating scattered dots of mud beneath her. Garnet wanted to listen, she didn’t want to taken by surprise again, but her body was acting against her, keeping her in the dark both literally and figuratively.

There was a long moment of silence, Garnet was waiting for the worst, maybe a possible companion laid out on the ground with her being punished for disturbing Kevin? What she got was a the heavy sound of the flood light finally being turned off and the soft pad of feet making their way toward her. Garnet curled more into herself, sore arms covering her head in case of more punches thrown and tucked her legs into her stomach.

“Child?” Garnet flinched violently and whimpered when a the motion jostled all of her bruises, “come now, they’re gone. You don’t need to fear them anymore.” A gentle hand rested against Garnet’s shoulder and the warmth startled her into raising her head to look up at the stranger. Her vision had yet to come back, but she was able to catch a mass of pink that stood close to her face.

“Can you stand?” The woman’s voice soothed over Garnet’s ears and without hesitation she tried to push herself up off of the ground. She had barely made it a few inches before her stomach gave a final heave and the ground underneath her was covered in bile and saliva. Soft shushing came from above her head and soft hands carded through her hair as she sobbed into the ground again. 

She was trying to clean herself, her face covered in tears, saliva, and mucus, but she couldn’t. Her fingers fumbled over her nose and sore eyes and her crying had yet to slow, she was at the mercy of her own body. Soft hands reached for her face and a cloth began wiping away at her face, cleaning away the mess. It had been so long since she had felt a soft touch.

It took a few minutes to get Garnet cleaned up, a few more to get her out of her folded position on the ground and onto her feet with an assisting hand against her back and arm. Her hands still shook but her breathing came easily now, though her sight had still yet to return to her fully. 

“A few more steps and we’ll be outside.” The woman refused to move from Garnet’s side, though her own gait was slightly hindered by something, her presence something of comfort to her in this blinded and exhausted state.

“Garnet!” Jasper’s voice echoed across the empty field as she watched the tall woman limp out of the main tent guided by a stranger with a cane. Her heavy footsteps brought her to them in a few long strides, cutting the stranger off from wherever she planned on taking Garnet. One look at Garnet’s bruised arms and face had Jasper tensing and turning back to the strange woman.

“Who are you?” Jasper’s fists clenched and she forced herself not to yank Garnet out of the woman’s arms, not wanting to jostle her too much. The woman’s dark eyes looked up at Jasper and her forehead creased as she glared, “I’m the person who just saved her from almost getting killed tonight.” Jasper flinched back and looked back at Garnet, she had seen Malachite, Doc, and Hendricks follow shortly after Kevin but she didn’t expect this. She would have tried to stop him before he had dragged her off.

The woman watched as Jasper’s shoulders deflated. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Garnet raise her hand and reach toward Jasper, her hand feeling the air until it reached the woman’s shoulder.

“It,” Garnet cleared her throat, “it’s okay. Just help me back to our tent.” Jasper was about to take hold of Garnet when the strange woman tightened her grip and pulled Garnet’s loose body closer to her own.

“Actually, you won’t need to do that anymore.”

“What?”

“The only way I was able to get that ringmaster of yours to listen to anything I had to say was to offer him money. Once he had the money in hand he told me to take Garnet and to have her gone by morning.”

“You bought her?” Jasper exploded. She wanted to punch something, someone.

“That was not my intention! I wanted to stop them from hurting her anymore and my hands were tied. I think this is for the best anyway. The farther away she is from that man the better.” Jasper hated to agree with her, but she knew she was right. Kevin had always had it out for Garnet, though she wasn’t sure why.

Jasper looked at Garnet, who’s body had stiffened and was slightly leaning away from the woman’s arm. 

“Garnet,” the tall woman jumped and looked in Jasper’s direction, “it’s up to you. What do you want?” Garnet had no answer except to shrug, she had never been given an option before, she didn’t know what to do.

“Let me take her to the hospital to get her head and wounds looked at, and then we can figure out what you want Garnet, okay?” She stood for a moment, thinking over what was said before nodding slightly. Before they could move too far Jasper was quick to grab the woman’s arm, “who are you? And how do I make sure you follow through on your end?”

The woman chuckled and shuffled her feet and planted her cane in the ground to face Jasper fully, “my name is Rose Quartz-Universe. Kevin told me that you all were moving your,” she hesitated, “act to Beach City. My husband and I have our own stationary circus there. Meet me and we can talk.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Simply and Sp00ks bring you.....  
> Chapter 4!!!!
> 
> So, we wanted to let all of you know that we may come back and edit/add more to this chapter at a later date. We just started working on 5 and wanted to give you guys this one while we write.   
> Also, Y.Pearl and B.Pearl just kinda....happened lol? We hope you guys enjoy this new ship as well as the chapter as a whole!

“Shit.” A whispered voice came from behind her, the darkness swallowing the exclamation as soon as it was uttered. Pearl felt herself stiffen as her head tilted slightly to better hear behind her, her hand slowly reaching into her pocket to take hold of the knife. 

It flipped easily between her fingers before she flicked the blade out, a dull shine glinting off of it’s surface with the minimal light coming in through the window. She was about to turn, to show that she wasn’t some helpless woman, when she heard a shocked gasp and the lights suddenly flicked on.

For the second where the lights glared and then settled, Pearl was blinded and was about to start wildly swinging when a panicked voice shouted out for her to wait.

“I told you she wasn’t going to leave it here.” A softer voice spoke up and finally Pearl was able to blink away the spots in her vision and stare down Aurora and Sky currently residing in her living room. She stood wide-eyed for a moment, her knife hand still slightly extended, watching Aurora fidget with her fingers and Sky lounge on her used couch.

“What are you doing here?” The knife was flicked, one, two, three times more over her thin fingers in agitation before being placed gently on a counter top.

“We just wanted to surprise you! With the recital coming up, and your State tryouts following, our time to hang out would be even more limited!”

“So you thought you’d sneak into the house of someone who you know is armed and knows how to fight back?” Pearl meant to ask in a joking manner but Aurora’s cheeks started to stain red and and her eyes lined with frustrated tears.

“Well, I’m sorry we wanted to see you a few more times before you left.” Pearl felt her smile drop as tears made their way down Aurora’s face and Sky turned her head away slightly and covered her mouth with the palm of her hand.

“No, no, I’m sorry Aurora. I-” Pearl made a few steps forward, arms slightly raised, intending to hug but not sure if that was what Aurora wanted at that moment. She could see the conflict in her amber eyes, no matter how tough and cold she acted, she was never one to turn down a good cuddle. Her hands fidgeted and her eyes darted back and forth between Pearl’s arms and her eyes.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake, just give her the hug. We both know you want to.” Aurora’s face flushed with more color, quickly swiping at her face to clear it of tear tracks and glared at the two others in the room as they giggled. Pearl raised her arms higher this time, curling her fingers towards her in a beckoning motion. With a quiet huff Aurora closed the space between them and gripped the back of Pearl’s jacket, her soft sigh giving away how much she needed this.

“I’m sorry we broke into your house.” The soft mumble was breathed against Pearl’s neck making her shiver slightly.

“Technically, having a key doesn’t make it “breaking in”,” With a final, tight squeeze, Pearl released the girl in her arms and instead gently held her face in her palms, “but maybe a pre-warning next time? I would hate to be the reason you get hurt.” Aurora tried to nod but Pearl tightened her hands just slightly so her cheeks pushed upwards and her eyes were squished shut. With a snort, Aurora pulled away and moved to sit next to Sky on the couch, “we promise.”

“This wasn’t my idea, don’t pull me into your promises.” Sky’s spoke up in a joking manner, extending her legs to rest them over Aurora’s lap and stretching her arms over her head.

“I know you wanted to come along, so don’t even start with that. Anyways,” Aurora ran a finger over the smaller girl’s socked foot making her leg jump, before resting her forearms on her shins, “you seemed plenty excited to go along with this as I was.”

Sky had just opened her mouth to retort when Pearl left for the kitchen, leaving the two to their lighthearted bickering. The space was clean and orderly, the sink void of dishes and counter tops wiped clean of any grime. The cleanliness of everything made Pearl’s shoulders loosen even more, her stress from the walk home not entirely gone until that moment.

Her mind wandered as she pulled food from the fridge and began cutting and seasoning food for herself and the two women in her living room. A soft song began to play in her head, her feet following through with some of the simpler steps of her piece, gliding her around the kitchen as she placed things in the oven and cleaned out used dishes.

“Pearl?” Said woman jumped and the cutting knife that was in her hand clattered onto the floor, too close for comfort to her foot. She stared at the large surface, catching her wavering reflection in its surface, took a few, deep breaths and finally leaned forward to pick it up. After placing it gently in the sink, Pearl turned to look at Aurora who stood behind her counter with wide eyes and hands covering her mouth. 

“I am so sorry! I just saw you messing with the knife and I was worried! I didn’t want you to hurt yourself!” Before Pearl could retort with anything, Aurora quickly scurried back to the living room, her hands never leaving her face even after she tucked her face into Sky’s side making the other woman giggle.

With a heavy sigh and a rough rub over her still erratically beating heart, Pearl finished up her cleaning process and began plating the finished food for herself.

“ Bon Appétit.” Pearl tucked a long leg underneath her as she settled on the couch and lifted a fork toward her house guests before beginning to eat, smiling when she heard them shoving and laughing to get to the food first. 

The clinking of utensils on plates and teeth fades to the back of Pearl’s mind, becoming a low, comforting hum that began to lull her into a light doze. 

On the second couch, Aurora and Sky watched as Pearl’s head began to bob and the hands holding her plate grew loose. 

“Go get her a blanket, I’ll clean up in the kitchen.” With a soft sigh, Sky extracted herself from Aurora’s arms and made her way over to quickly take up Pearl’s plate before it clattered onto the ground. As she made her way to the kitchen she heard Aurora make her way to Pearl’s room to grab the soft blanket that the woman kept at the foot of her bed.

After all the food was packaged and put away Sky found herself cleaning up the few final plates when she felt arms wrap securely around her waist. Aurora’s head settled comfortably, cheek tucked into her neck and chin resting lightly on her shoulder.

“How much longer are we going to need to do this?” The question was muttered into the smaller woman’s neck, the voice slightly watery and tired.

“We will do this as long as we need to. We don’t know how she feels about this and I know you don’t want her to leave any faster than she already is.” Aurora sighed heavily, the warm breathe making Sky shutter as she shut off the sinks running water, and turned in her lovers circled arms.

“I know you want to tell her, I do too, but we need to play this safe. As much as I love Pearl, I refuse to lose you too.” Soft hands cradled Aurora’s cheeks, the taller woman’s head leaning heavily into the palms.

“I hate keeping you a secret. You deserve better than that.” Sky smiled once again, pulling Aurora forward for a soft kiss before pressing their foreheads together, “you deserve it as much as I do.” The two stood in comfortable silence, breathing each breath in tandem and sharing each other’s strength.

They would have stood there longer, one having almost fallen asleep against her counter, when they were both startled out of their calm by a low groan and the sound of shuffling from the living room. The two stood frozen in tense silence until the shuffling slowed to a stop and was followed by a heavy sigh as Pearl settled once again.

The two finally thawed after a few more seconds, Sky leaning heavily against the counter behind her and Aurora dropping her head back onto Sky’s shoulder, her arms tightening around the thin waist.

“We need to head to bed, we have practice tomorrow.” Sky was about to push out from Aurora’s arms when they tightened once again, a forehead pressed to her and amber eyes looked deeply into her own, “one more kiss. Then I’ll let you go.”

“Aura.”

“Please, you looked so beautiful today.”

“Only today?”

“Well, you look beautiful everyday, but today I can actually kiss you so,” Aurora shrugged and pushed closer to her small lover, “may I please have this kiss, my blue Sky?” With a barely concealed smile, Sky pulled her forward by the jaw, short blonde hair tickling fingertips, and kissed her soundly on the lips. 

After a few seconds and lithe fingers massaging under sensitive ears, Sky pulled away and ducked underneath Aurora's arms leaving the taller woman dazed and heavy-lidded. 

“Come on Aura, bedtime.” Sky laughed as she turned, catching the tail end of the light glare and flushed cheeks Aurora shot at her before she followed. 

The couch they would be sharing had seen better days, the cushions sagging and stains on it’s arms of coffee from too early mornings, but they still loved the old thing. The comforter was stolen from Pearl’s bed and placed over the length of the couch, Sky and Aurora settling themselves on opposite ends for the night. 

“Goodnight Aura.”

“G'nite Sky.” Socked feet tucked themselves underneath naked calves, the contact relaxing both parties, before sleep finally took them.

After two sets of heavy breathing filled the room, arctic blue eyes opened and eyed the two sleeping figures on her couch. Thoughts scrambled in and around her mind, replaying those last few moments of what happened in the kitchen. Those eyes didn’t close for the rest of the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> I don't have a lot to say here today except we hope everyone enjoys this chapter!  
> Also, if anyone is confused at all, no one hesitate to ask us to clarify anything! We will gladly do so!  
> Last thing, do not hesitate to send us some constructive criticism, we both want to become better writers, and will take any and all help!

“Garnet! Wake up!” A heavy head jerked up and smacked against the back wall behind her forcing her back forward with a sharp flinch. Eyes flicked wildly from the face to her right to the empty room in which she sat in, “wh-where am I?” 

“Garnet, we are in the hospital. I brought you here to get your head looked at in case you have a concussion,” Rose paused for a moment before opening her mouth once more, “do you know who I am? Or remember what happened?” Garnet covered her eyes from the sharp, open bulbs of the hospital’s waiting room and tried to remember what had happened before the woman next to her had so rudely awoken her.

All she could remember was darkness and a debilitating headache that split her in two. Moving faces that came into focus for only a second before being lost behind a set of another barely recognizable features. All she remembered was pain and knowing that it was her fault.

“It was my fault.” Garnet muttered the words, knowing, in her gut, how true those words were, but the woman, Rose, was quick to grasp Garnet’s limp hand and shake her head.

“No! This is in no way your fault!” Tears welled slightly in Rose’s large dark eyes before she blinked them away, not wanting them to fall, “Kevin is someone who takes advantage of the power he has and the people around him.” At the utterance of the name, a wave of nausea rushed over her and Garnet felt herself stiffen. Her squinted eyes tried to look around the room, looking for  _ him _ , but she was forced to cover them once more as her head continued to throb _.  _

Rose watched helplessly as Garnet began to retreat back into her head, face buried in her free hand, the other still gripped by both of Rose’s, she shoulders stiffened, and fingertips trembling. Rose tried squeezing her hand, to pull her back, but Garnet was lost again to her memories. With one final squeeze, Rose uncurled Garnet’s stiff fingers from around her hand and quickly left her chair to walk, once again, to the nurse behind the desk.

“Excuse me,” Rose tried to keep her voice even as the nurse huffed and looked up at her, “my friend has been sitting here for almost two hours and we have yet to be seen! I’m sure that her head has taken many hits and I’m worried for her health!” The nurse leaned over a bit, looking passed Rose to take in Garnet who was once again slouched back in her chair with her eyes shut, her hands clenching and unclenching as she worked her way through her stress. 

“Ma’am, I have alerted the doctors of the situation. They follow through with the most important cases first.” The woman straightened in her chair, her eyes lingering on Garnet for a few more seconds and her lips curling into a sneer before she fixed her face and met Rose’s eyes once more.

“Most important cases? She was jumped just a few hours ago and is, still, currently bleeding from her forehead onto the tile! I would think that this is pretty important!”

“Ma’am, I’m going to need to ask you to please lower your voice, you are upsetting the patients.” Rose felt her blood boil, “Patients? What patients? The last person to be taken back left over an hour ago!”

“Ma’am,” Rose felt her eye twitch at the nurse’s bored tone, “one of the doctors will get to her when they are ready. That is all I can tell you.”  Rose’s fists clenched, the head of her cane digging into her right palm, anchoring her to the now. She was just opening her mouth once again to say. . . something, anything that would let this woman know that Garnet needed to be seen this instant when a third voice filled the room.

“What is going on here?” Both Rose and the nurse turned toward the newcomer, Garnet not even flinching at the new voice. Standing in the threshold of the double doors leading further into the hospital was a tall, tanned woman with her gray-streaked hair pulled back into a severe bun and a lab coat hanging over her shoulders.

“Donna who is this?” The nurse, Donna, stood quickly and began to make her way form behind the desk when Rose quickly stepped forward, effectively putting herself between the two, and began speaking, “Doctor, oh thank goodness! Please, you need to help Garnet!” The doctor’s forehead wrinkled in confusion.

“Garnet?”

“M-my friend, Garnet.” slightly shaken by her confusion, Rose gestured toward the slumped figure in the chair behind her. In an instant Rose was lightly pushed aside and the doctor stiffly called for Donna to follow her toward Garnet’s limp figure. Without any hesitation, she gently gripped Garnet’s chin and and raised her head, instruction the nurse to hold the unconscious woman’s shoulders back for a breath check. Once she was happy with the fact that Garnet was still breathing in her chair, she pressed two fingers into Garnet’s neck to check for her pulse. 

Rose hesitated behind them, watching as Donna stiffly did everything she was told, whispering and trying to explain herself to the doctor, “Dr. Maheswaran, I swear,  I thought-” she was quickly cut off by Dr. Maheswaran directing her to hold Garnet more still as she pulled out a pen light, ready to shine it into closed eyes.

“Um, Garnet is extremely light sensitive. Since the moment I found her she was without any eye protection.”  
“I understand, thank you.” She was quick as she flashed the light in Garnet’s eyes, the larger woman only flinching slightly before settling again. 

“We need to get her into one of the back rooms so I can take a better look at her, but my current diagnosis is that she has a moderate concussion, and by the flinching she was doing while we moved her, she might have a few cracked ribs as well.” She turned to the cowering nurse, “why was I not made aware of this?” Rose turned and met the nurse’s eyes before they dropped quickly once more to the ground.

“You lied to me.” 

“Help me get Garnet into the back, and then I expect you to start cleaning out your station.” Donna stiffened and gave a short nod and followed the doctor to set up a room, leaving Rose and Garnet for the time being. As soon as the double doors whipped closed behind them, Rose was quick to kneel in front of Garnet. She sat and shook Garnet’s shoulder in an attempt to wake her, and watched as those mismatched eyes blinked open and met her own.

“Rose?”

“Garnet, sweetie, you need to stay awake for me, okay?” Rose brushed a gentle hand over Garnet’s cheek, “Dr. Maheswaran is going to bring you back so she can take a look at you.”

“My head hurts.”

“I know, she is going to get you something to cover your eyes and for the pain.” Rose heard a rustling behind her and looked to see both doctor and nurse returned and ready to bring Garnet back. She turned back to Garnet, noticing that the larger woman had unconsciously rested her cheek more firmly into Rose’s palm, and woke her from her doze once more. Once she was back on her feet, as well as she could be, she was carried back by both nurse and doctor. The walk down the hall seemed to take an eternity, but actually only took five minutes to reach the prepared room.

As Garnet was seated, Dr. Maheswaran turning away to grab the dark cloth that she had set aside for her eyes,  Rose didn’t bother saying anything as Donna slunk out of the room before the doctor was facing them again and tying the cloth over Garnet’s eyes. 

The room was silent save for Dr. Maheswaran asking Garnet how she felt as she was poked and prodded, checking over Garnet’s ribs, head, and jaw. Even her mouth to make sure that no teeth were broken and her tongue wasn’t bitten during the attack. 

“You’ll need stitches,” Dr. Maheswaran pulled away from cleaning the wound on Garnet’s forehead, “the cut is too deep to heal properly on its own.” Dr. Maheswaran was more muttering to herself as she left the room to get the supplies, leaving a frozen Garnet in her wake. She seemed made of marble for how little she moved, her shoulders barely rising with each breath she took. Rose knew she was beginning to panic, and was bracing herself to push away from the bed and to let the doctor know when she suddenly felt a light pressure against her fingers. 

Looking down, she saw Garnet’s rough fingers freeze against the sheets, her pinky resting against Rose’s middle finger. Subtly looking back up, Rose saw Garnet’s lowered head and stiff shoulders up near her ears. Without saying a word, Rose slowly flipped her hand over, trying not to scare the larger woman, and grasped those fingers in her hand, running her thumb gently over her scarred knuckles.

If it hadn’t been so silent in the room, Rose would have missed the soft, shaking sigh that escaped Garnet’s lips as her shoulders loosened, but her head remaining lowered. 

The two sat in silence, hand-in-hand, as Dr. Maheswaran, with gentle fingers, sewed up Garnet’s forehead. 

Once Garnet was sewn up, bandaged, and drugged with pain killers, Dr. Maheswaran diagnosed that Garnet had a moderate concussion and two, maybe three fractured ribs.

“In all honesty, I’m surprised you walked away with just this. You are quite lucky Garnet.” The woman in question nodded with a heavy head, her eyes fighting to stay open as the medications began taking effect.

“Since you were not brought back immediately,” the doctor’s voice turned tense at the reminder, “you will probably end up with a scar once these are removed.” 

Another sleepy nod from Garnet.

“Now, you are free to go home, make sure you take it easy over the next few weeks. It’ll take about two full months before you are back to perfect health though.” Rose watched Garnet nod again, this time with a slack face.

“Um, I think I’ll let her know again once she has awoken, I think the medication has put her to sleep.” Rose squeezed Garnet’s hand, the hand responding with soft pressure back.

“Of course,” Dr. Maheswaran eyed their hands before moving to Garnet’s side to help raise her to her feet. The two stumbled for a few seconds before Garnet dropped heavily into the offered wheelchair, quickly being wheeled out the front of the hospital. 

Rose’s carriage was brought up quickly, the horses tossing their heads and the driver rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Garnet had to be gently contorted to get her up once more and tucked into the carriages open door, as soon as she was settled , laying her head against the back of the seat and immediately falling back asleep.

“Make sure you check up on her throughout the night. She will need to be awoken once every three to four hours to make sure she doesn't fall into a coma.”

“Of course. I’ll stay by her side all night.

“Good.” Dr. Maheswaran walked with Rose as she moved to the other side of the carriage, watching as she pushed off with her cane to get into the raised seat, and finally laying the piece of wood flat against her lap.

“Are you okay?” Rose looked away from her hands adjusting Garnet’s neck when she realized she was being spoken to, “okay?”

Dr. Maheswaran cleared her throat and ran a hand over the top of her head, “excuse my forwardness, but you seem nowhere near old enough to be in need of the cane. Do you have anything you would like me to take a look at?”

“Oh!” Rose laughed lightly, her hands falling unconsciously to her stomach, “no, I don’t think you could tell me anything different than what my family’s doctor does.” she took a breath and fidgeted with the worn-smooth head of her cane, “my husband and I are trying for our third child, we’ve always wanted a large family, but the efforts have been taking their toll on me.”

“How long have you been trying?” 

“We’ve been trying since my son turned nine. He just had his tenth birthday a few weeks ago.” Rose’s hand ran over her stomach with trembling fingers, “all we want is a family.”

“Well,” Dr. Maheswaran reached a hand forward and placed a hand on top of Rose’s, “I wish you luck in all of this, and if you are ever in need of assistance, do not hesitate to call on me. For both yourself and for Garnet.”  
“Thank you very much doctor.”

“Please, call me Priyanka, have a good night Rose.”

“You too.” The doors were closed and the carriage drove off with Priyanka watching it in the distance.

 

___

 

“Mom, who’s that?” a soft voice broke through Garnet’s sleep addled brain before Rose’s more familiar voice took its place, “her name is Garnet, she’s a friend of mine.”

“What happened to her head?” The voice grew closer.

“Mean people hurt her.”

“Why would they do that? She’s so pretty!” Rose’s tinkling laugh echoed in her head, but it was tinged with sadness.

“She is, isn’t she.” Garnet felt something against her cheek, “I don’t know why someone would do this to her, Steven. We can never know why people do the things they do.” Rose was quiet for a few moments, the pressure on Garnet’s cheek moving up into her hair, “can you go get your father? I’ll need help in bringing her inside.” The soft voice was already gone, just leaving a pleasant hum in the back of her head. 

In an instant, Garnet’s eyes fought themselves to open as she looked to meet dark eyes, “Oh! Hello there sleeping beauty,” Rose chuckled a bit, “we are at my home and it is time for some more walking.” Garnet groaned and leaned her head back again, looking to get a bit more sleep, when a hand was patting instantly against her cheek.

“Come on, my husband, Greg, is going to help you out so you don’t fall.” Her only response was a low hum of agreement. Greg, a heavyset man in his late thirties, walked up to his wife’s side, placing a quick kiss on her cheek, and a silent “Are you okay?” in her ear. When he was happy with her nodded answer, he made his way over to Garnet’s slumped form, waking the woman again and helping her out of the carriage and into the small house. 

Steven waited impatiently in the living room, both parents wanting him to stay inside while they went out to grab their new housemate. When the door was pulled open and his father walked in the Garnet heavy on his shoulder, Steven jumped up, quickly clearing a path in his scattered toys from the door to the short stairs to his room. 

“Steven, I don’t know if she will be able to get up the stairs. We may just have her sleep on the couch tonight. We don’t want her waking up and falling down the stairs.”

“But dad! I can watch her! I’ll be with her all night and I’ll make sure she doesn’t hurt herself when she wakes up! Besides, the couch isn’t very comfortable for sleeping.”

“But that’s my favorite couch.” Greg laughed, but made his way down the cleared path his son made in the toys.

“Fine, if you’ll help me get her up, then she can sleep up there.” Garnet, more awake than she was in the carriage, moved to stand up straighter, trying to subtly pull away from Greg’s side. She braced her arm against him, and lifted a heavy arm toward the couch.

She didn’t want to be a burden on these people anymore that she already had. Before either Steven or Greg were able to say anything in response to her silent request, Rose followed after her husband and took Garnet’s hand in her own, “you are not sleeping on that old couch-”

“Why is everyone attacking my couch tonight?”

“Do you feel strong enough to get up the stairs?” Garnet pursed her lips, not wanting to agree that her legs were no longer swimming beneath her body, but also not wanting the three to be upset that she was fighting. With a soft sigh, Garnet nodded her head, and she and Greg began making their way up the wide stairs with Steven pushing on the back of her legs.

Steven’s room was open, with a large window looking out over a beach, small dressers and bookcases with even more toys on their surfaces, and tucked into the corner closest to the window was a small bed. 

Time passed before Garnet knew it and she was suddenly lowered onto the made covers of Steven’s bed, a stuffed bear tucked underneath her chin by small hands. Garnet began dozing once more, only conscious enough to hear Rose state that she shall be back within the next few hours. With a sluggish nod, Garnet felt herself curl around the fuzzy creature in her arms  before finally dropping into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is finally here! Chapter 6!!
> 
> I don't know why, but Pearl chapters are so hard for me to write. Let me tell you, we went through more than a few editing processes lol.  
> We hope you enjoy this chapter!!

“Pearl!” With a final stumble into the far wall Pearl pushed herself up and stalked back to the other side of the room, taking first position once again. She needed to get this right.

“Start it again.”

“Pearl, I think you should take a break-”

“The fundraiser is in two days Opal! If i’m not perfect we could lose out on good money and sponsors for the studio. We need this.”  
“And you need rest.” Opal’s voice was stern as she walked over and stood in front of Pearl, keeping her from moving away with or without the music as assistance, “you are distracted, I don’t know by what, but if you keep dancing like this you are going to hurt yourself and then you will be out of the dance either way.” Pearl, still stubbornly in her first position, was frustrated with the answer but she knew that Opal was right. She needed to stay focused and, as much as she was loathe to admit it, she needed to break away and settle her thoughts.

“Will you please just take twenty minutes? Get something to eat, or maybe continue writing that letter to home? Just take the time.” Pearl sighed and nodded, finally dropping out of her stance, and quickly grabbed her bag and was out the door. 

The air outside was cold forcing Pearl to wrap her arms around her middle and quicken her pace to the building two doors down. The small shop was warm and the air the aromas of broth and herbs; the little soup shop having been around for years, was all of the ballerina's favorite place to go for their breaks in between rehearsals. It had gotten to the point where it was no longer odd to see leg warmers, leotards, and sometimes even the tuft of a tutu poking outside of a booth.

Pearl stood inside the door, breathing warm air into her hands, and looked for a small table that wasn’t occupied when a voice called out to her further within the shop. Stopping her search for a table, Pearl looked through the mass of bodies to find a short waitress with blonde curly hair tied up in a ponytail making her way toward her while tucking a leather book into her apron. Sadie’s mother owned the little shop, so it only took a few years of odd looks before people finally accepted Sadie in her trousers and working position.

“How have you been?” Sadie stopped in front of her, pushing a tuft of hair behind her ear and smiling up at the taller woman, “working day for day,” the two chuckled and took a few minutes to catch up before Sadie lead her to a small table hidden in the back close to the swinging door to kitchen. 

“Vegetable with light broth?” Pearl nodded as she sat herself, “bread and water as well please.” With a quick jot to her pad, Sadie nodded and quickly made her way to relay her order and check on her other tables. Pearl sat silently for a few moments, watching people move in and out of the kitchen, and nodding with a smile as Sadie dropped off her water, before she reached into her bag and pulled out a half-written letter. 

The paper was limp from Pearl’s constant folding and refolding and there was a blot of ink in the lower corner from her falling asleep with a pen still in hand. She looked over the lines that she had written and tried to tell herself that she hadn’t written too much, mother always did enjoy her ramblings, well, that’s what her mother always said. Next she pulled a charcoal pencil from the bag, learning her lesson with the pen and ink, and placed it down strategically next to the open letter, quickly resetting it as it tried to roll off the table, and began to overthink the letter once more. 

She’d already written about the upcoming fundraiser, she brought that up in every letter. She wrote about her practices, apartment living, and Sky and Aurora’s most recent shenanigans.

The rolling of the pencil didn’t even catch Pearl’s attention and it quietly rolled off the edge and into the path of bustling feet. 

Sky and Aurora. 

She still couldn’t get that night out of her head. She wanted to ask her parents, see what they thought about two women in such a relationship. Her mother would probably accept it wholeheartedly, always has been and always will be a lover of all. Her father would follow along in her steps and say something along the lines of “if we don’t have love, what do we have?”

Pearl wanted to say something to them, but they both seemed so adamant about keeping her from knowing. They seemed so scared that she would turn on them once she knew, and that hurt, but she could also understand. Times were hard for anyone and anything that was different.

Pearl’s thoughts were too scattered to notice Sadie returning with her food and setting it down in front of her with a soft  _ clunk _ of heavy porcelain and tinkling from the silverware making her jump. 

“Sorry!” Sadie’s voice came into focus to her right and Pearl quickly straightened from her hunched position to clear the table surface and fold the letter away from sight, gently calming the flustered waitress with a soft thank you. Sadie sighed, a hand on her chest, and smiled before rushing off as the front door opened and closed behind another mass of people. 

Pearl chuckled as she watched Sadie squeeze herself between the moving bodies and begin to direct them to a large table set off to the side. The group was a mix men and women, all of them laughing and talking amongst themselves as they figured out who sat next to who. As she watched, one of the men turned and looked over the space before meeting Pearl’s eyes. He smiled and tipped an imaginary hat in her direction before turning back to his table. Pearl felt her cheeks heat and looked down into her bowl.

She watched the light pieces of celery, carrots, and peas floated in lazy circles around the bowl. Pearl watched for a few more seconds, refusing to raise her eyes and possibly meet the man’s eyes again. Taking her spoon, Pearl pushed the pieces around the bowl before finally taking a small spoonful and proceeding to eat. She wasn’t much one for filling meals, her plentiful leftovers graciously eaten by persistent house guests. 

The thought of her house guests brought them back to the forefront of her mind; their whispered words and soft touches reminding her so much of her parents back home. They looked happy, but the words that Pearl heard left her feeling hollow. Did they really think that she would be so disgusted as to leave them?

Pearl was halfway down into her bowl, listening to the waitstaff converse in the back when she was startled, once again, by someone coming forward and placing a heavy hand not too far from where she was eating. Looking up, she was met with the man who nodded at her earlier.

“Hello.” She swallowed the bite that she had in her mouth, glanced quickly at the man’s table; all of its patrons turned and watching them with interested eyes, before meeting his eyes again.

“Hi.”

“What is someone like you doing eating by yourself?” The invite was blatant in his question but Pearl refused to entertain it, “I’m just having a quick lunch before I go back to practice.”

“Oh! What are you practicing for?” Pearl tried not to look too irritated as she glanced down at her leotard before meeting his eyes once more. 

“Ballet.” He opened his mouth to, most likely, ask another question when he was tapped on the shoulder by a smirking Aurora, “her lunch dates are here, you can head back to your buddies.” Sky was not too far behind her, arms crossed loosely over her chest, her index finger tapping an impatient beat on her arm.

He tried once more to start some sort of conversation, but Aurora was quick to shut him down until he walked back to his table with blotchy cheeks. As soon as he was seated back with his own group, Aurora pulled out the seat across from Pearl and quick sat down, Sky sliding easily onto her lap until the two were comfortable.

Pearl could tell that the two had just come from practice, Aurora’s hair still pulled back by an elastic headband and Sky still in her practice recital costume, a shoulderless leotard that dipped into a diamond shape on her chest with a sheer skirt sewn into the waist.

Without a word, Pearl pushed the remainders of her soup towards Aurora’s grasping hands and handed Sky a piece of bread and the two dug into her food with no hesitation. As they were distracted, Pearl watched their movements; Aurora’s arm wrapped around Sky’s waist, Sky’s head leaning against Aurora’s as she nibbled the crust off of the bread, and the fact that Sky was currently sitting entirely on Aurora’s lap. They could have played it off with the fact that there was only one other chair, but neither asked for a new chair and people, by this point, knew that they wouldn’t. The two had been attached by the hip as long as Pearl could remember. 

The more she thought on it, the more she began to see the little changes, the more frequent touches, soft glances, times they snuck away one after the other. The more she thought, the more she began to feel an ache deep in her chest. It felt lonely.

Pearl had never been one for romance, moving across the sea at a young age and taking up ballet even younger left no room for side activities like love, but that never meant she didn’t want it, didn’t crave the intimate affections from another person.

“I need to go,” the two paused in their eating to look up at Pearl. It was almost comical considering Aurora had slightly bulging cheeks from the soup, but Pearl was in no mood to laugh. She needed to get away from their. . . comfortableness before she said something that she would later regret. 

“Are you okay?” Sky pushed aside a tuft of hair to send Pearl a worried glance and Pearl nodded with a tight smile, “Opal needs me back so we can continue practicing, just needed the quick break.”

“Oh, well,” Sky ducked her head and Aurora spoke up, “Sure.” She sounded tense and refused to meet Pearl’s eyes so with a small nod she grabbed her bag, and walked out.

 

___

 

Pearl hadn’t danced for no more than thirty minutes, almost twisting an ankle in the process, before Opal sent her home entirely, her words still ringing her Pearl’s head as she walked. 

_ You need to get your head in the right place before you lose everything you’ve worked so hard for. _

The walk was over before she knew it, and she was back inside the emptiness of her own home. She tidied up things that need no tidying, and lost a few hours just sitting on the couch wondering what she was going to do. Pearl might have sat for even longer, her mind still miles away when a quick succession of knocks against her door startled her back.

She refused to move, hoping the late night visitor would give up with her extended absence and leave her be, but another round of knocking pushed her up onto jello legs and stumbling over to the door. As soon as she opened the door Pearl shuddered as cool winter air blew past; over her exposed arms, stockinged legs, and bare feet. 

The mail delivery boy looked startled at her bare skin before quickly tucking the lower half of his face into his scarf, the tops of his red cheeks peeking out, and extended his hand to offer her the only letter there. They both stood at an impasse, Pearl’s brain not yet reconnected from her time on the couch and the  boy refusing to look above her knee or speak a word. 

With a quick shake of her head Pearl took the letter and softly thanked the boy who nodded frantically, muttered something that was lost to the wind, and ran off. Pearl stifled a chuckle as he slipped over some ice before righting himself and racing off once again. 

Shutting the door behind her, Pearl flipped the letter over and immediately froze.

_ The Universes. _

The letter suddenly weighed pounds upon pounds. She didn’t want to open it, but it wasn’t a fear of its contents, it was a fear of how many ways she could disappoint them once again. Growing up, both her mother and father had always told her that they would stand behind her in whatever she decided to do, but after using their money to go to a private dance school, the apartment that she lived in, and the food that she ate, it felt like she was sinking further and further into an “I’m using you” mindset instead of a “You support me” one, and she didn’t think she deserved to get back out.

It wasn’t the first letter they sent to her, but it also wasn’t the first letter that threw Pearl into this spiral of negative thoughts that left her emotional and exhausted.

There were so many questions, so many caring statements that could be written in both of their penmanships, sometimes little notes were written off on margins or even smearing together in between lines, and Pearl couldn’t bear to read or answer them. 

With subdued steps, Pearl placed the still sealed letter on the counter and covered it with a dish towel before backing away. She didn’t even notice the corner of the envelope still poking out as she sniffed softly and roughly ran a hand over her face. Before she could go back and change her mind, Pearl turned and retreated back to her room.


End file.
